The Angry soon-to-be Ex-Wife {Guest Post}

This is the premiere of “Guest Posts” here at my site .

A very dear client asked me, if she could share her story (real story!) She is a beginner writer. A warm welcome here in my blog.

It’s a pleasure to have you here, Valentina … let’s read your 1. Post:

Today I decided to be Brave

The Angry Soon-to-Be Ex-Wife

By Valentina Wang

It’s late. I am sitting in front of my laptop. Just opened a blank page of Word.

I have no clue, how long I am sitting here already, staring on the screen. It’s now dark outside. If time is measurable in glasses of red wine, then I would say, I am sitting here and starring on thatscreen for the length of two glasses of Merlot. 

The other thing I know right now is, that I am actually not quite sure, what I am going to do next.

My office cellphone just rang and a very dear client called me crying, that she needs urgently a place to stay…. If I am still offering in my office house… Airbnb?

What an irony! 

Probably, this would have been a good moment to tell her, that she is not alone and that I am also having a very bad moment. But no, I couldn’t do that, somehow, I am still too pride to reveal so easily my pain. 

So, I also need a place to stay. I need to get out of this house as soon as possible. Now, that I decided to be brave. 

By now, I catch myself talking loud, alone here in my “west wing” of my still-husband’s house. And I am writing… All you are reading at this very moment. 

Well, actually I could move to my office, I have in a small house. 

But, that something I don’t feel ready to decide on…. Now… I will thing about my next living space tomorrow. 

For now, I only feel this deep desire, in me, to write all my pain, my disillusion, my anger off my chest. All these emotions that Ihave accumulated during the last 11 years…. with a strong crescendo (as my piano teacher would say) in the last two and a half years.  

The ideas are swirling in my head and if you ask me, what has happened or how I feel right now. 

A lot has happened in the last 11. Years.

I am angry. 

I am pissed off, at least I think that’s how some people would call my current feeling. 

I feel hurt. 

I feel not appreciated and certainly not desired and loved since a long time, 11 years. The last point, is something, I am actually not yet feeling ready to talk about.

So, let’s recap on how I got here, now, in front of my laptop screen with this blank page of Word:

Earlier this morning I woke up and I had that epiphany, I needed to take a decision concerning my marriage or better said, what’s left of my marriage. Does this sound familiar to any of you?

In different occasions and also today, during our phone-call, my still-husband had been very clear about his feelings. 

His last birthday plays a very important role in all this and although, we still have had “good” times since that event, (we went for a vacation on my birthday, but then he ignored me on Mothers Day) he says, that this was his deciding moment… when he knew, that this relationship was over for him. 

So, did he take this decision 12 months ago? 

I remember perfectly well his birthday. During weeks we had itchy moments, quarrels about “why” he is ignoring me as his partner ( At that time that red alarm light did not reach me!), why we don’t have sex, why I never know what he does in the evening during his business trips… the list is long. 

But, come on, at that point of my life, I still was so naïve in thinking that these were peanuts and somehow, we would be able to manage these ups and down in our long-distance -relationship. 

I call it a long-distance-relationship, as we sometimes only see on weekends or in the worst case 3 or 5 days during a month. Therefor communication, in all forms, has always been the priority number one on my bucket-list…. Yeah, but not on the one of my still-husband. 

Yes, I have to admit, that I already had some very, very ugly and painful moments experienced with him. We are a couple and of course he also lived painful moments with me, too. Of course, he has his anger and disillusions. 

But we can talk about that. Not talking only makes things worse and definitely is not a good base for solution-finding.  

Finally, what couple doesn’t have strong fights and a pile or several of broken plates?

So, things got worse, after I was ignored on Mother’s Day. It hurt so much!  I spent a long time crying in my car, my office and that’s when I started to analyze the last 12 months. What did I miss? What signs didn’t I pay attention to?

I think the astrological weather gave me a helping hand, as all the pieces of the puzzle started to fit. I got one insight after the other.  

There was this red alarm light I didn’t see, when my still-husband presented his decision, he took about our relationship almost 12 months ago. 

I have been so sad, so scared… feeling so helpless in the last four and a half months. 

That’s what I remember, here and now, sitting and writing. 

So, today is the big day… I called my husband and there it was again. 

The purpose of my call was to sum up and somehow “verify”, what I finally understood …and to be sure that we are on the same line…. As I had a big news for him…, but before I could tell him that

He was preaching a g a i n: ”I have taken a decision, I am living my life, I am travelling I am bying this and that, , I am going to the movies, I am … I am… I am… I am done with this relationship…”.

Yep! Among so many “I am “ there was definitely no space for me. 

Yes Sir, without any doubt! 

Also, he made it very clear, that he was in “no hurry” to get the divorce, as he still wasn’t dating anybody ( what do you think? I love to read your comments) ….

Well, that sounds generous!

But I had big news for him. 

When he was taking a deep breath, I took my chance and just said: “I want immediately the divorce”!

So, that’s “how” I got here, now, in front of my laptop screen with this already 1130 written words in my new word file and after 3 glasses of Merlot. 

How do I feel now?

I feel lighter.

Nevertheless, the pain is immense. 

There is a big stone in my chest. 

I feel exhausted and tired. 

I don’t know what I am going to do tomorrow, next week. How am I going to live.

There is so much I like to share with you. 

For now, I will try to sleep. 

Oh, and by the way, I am Valentina Wang. 

Thank you.

 


Monday Morning Sparkle

Hello and good morning to this fresh week . It’s Monday, May 27th, 2019 … starting the week with numerology “eight” . A strong bold number, which characteristics give us an incredible support , b u t … there is some smoke machine working this week… fogging the whole panorama.

Don’t get me wrong, as there might be a beautiful, happy energy surrounding you . Nevertheless, even if good vibes are flowing, make zero assumptions about where anyone stands.

There is more … and I invite you to grab you coffee and join me for some interesting details:

For today … Go with the flow! You could also attract a powerful alliance, either for business or romance. Does someone’s energy merge naturally with yours?

How about exploring the possibility of to join forces, ideas…

…by midweek…

On Wednesday and Thursday the air might be quiet sticky. Some casual conversation can easily open up the tremendous Pandora-Box. Do you really want this?

OMG … here my first tip … listen carefully before you react. Be prepared to guide the conversation in a proactive direction.

On Thursday, Mercury gets into its second dust-up, this time opposing retrograde Jupiter in Sagittarius and your candid ninth house. These two planets are the “big mouths” of the zodiac, but when sitting across from each other, they can muddle your message.

Here my tip: Don’t be too hasty in your actions, reactions and desicion … and also do your prep-work.

The T-square formation of Mercury, Neptune and Jupiter can rile up debate. People w i l l question you and your data, presentation, info-sheet …!

Nevertheless, this is not <!> the moment to take it personally.

Shift your attitude and understand that it’s <probably > your job to sell others on your vision.

There is no shortcut. If you don’t know how to answer something, simply say, “Let me get back to you on that.” ( but don’t forget to get really back to this)

All in all, it very important not to burn the bridges in your personal and professional relationships.

Thanks for being here and reading me. Wishing you all a very productive Monday

XO Kikis


The Pushy One

Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude. ~ Zig Ziglar

… be more serious about our goals today, the steady #Taurus #Sun forms a smooth aspect to taskmaster #Saturn • my tip: under todays numerology #one✨you do good in finishing what you start, for loose ends invite « fateful twists « to the stories we are still writing.

On the other hand …Trial-and-error techniques can gradually lead you to an update that works like a charm.

Swim with the transformative tide.

Wishing you all a very exciting Saturday. Stick to your plans!

P.D it’s a long Mother Day weekend. Yesterday we celebrated here in Mexico . It’s always on May10th… for others it’s this Sunday …so, here my best wishes to all the Mothers. Enjoy your day and weekend. Blessings !

Thanks for reading me.

XO Kikis


The lovely Breeze

It doesn’t matter if it is drizzling or the sun is shining in full bloom…

Breeze and relax … it’s time to take a couple steps back from stress, anger, hectic and focus on the more lovely part of life .

The planets Venus and Jupiter bring the super harmonious energy under today’s numerology ” eight”. There is also a huge extra dose of creativity and inspiration .

Some of you might really stand out with there proposal and ideas at meetings, negotiations or family reunion.

Nevertheless… Your subconscious is super sensitive to outside influences today, giving you good reason to conscientiously set boundaries.

Your glorious idea or brilliant bit of creative work, you recently shared, might be viewed through envious eyes by others.

Here my first tip: Be sure to have your protective shield firmly in place, if there’s jealousy in the vibrational field.

Keep your heart and mind focused on the abundant evidence that validates you’re coming into your own. Nurture your confidence with care!

My next tip for the day: Express your enthusiasm with thoughtful sensitivity and you can build bridges instead of walls.

By the way we are heading to the Mother Day celebrations and I like this beautiful cosmic weather preparing the scenario.

Wishing you all a very inspiring and joyful Thursday.

Thanks for reading me .

XO Kikis


The light Breeze and a Walk under the Palms

It’s a beautiful day to evaluate a couple of situations and circumstances … are you ready to walk this tiny extra mile to make things and relationships happen .

The full moon in Libra just happened, today’s numerology is “nine” …

You might feel ready to implement a new pattern /lifestyle under the beginning of a new astrological month…when the Sun enters sensible Taurus.

We all are less interested in starting something new, than we are in stabilizing what we already are doing.

The down-to-earth influence of the Taurus Sun urges us to strongly to consider the practical side of any decision. … what I like in addition to this is , that we’re not quite ready to let go of our attraction to the >adrenaline rush< once sensual Venus slips into action-packed Aries ( until May 15th).

This is very good news to pamper and beautify your mind-body-soul in all senses. Even, if you have been struggling with your bikini-diet… this dynamic Venus/Aries combo will strengthen your willpower to loose these extra kilos.

I wish you all a very joyful and harmonious Saturday! What’s on your list for the day?

Thanks for reading me and sharing my tips.

XO Kikis

Read that fine-print

Are you also feeling a slightly slower pace ? It’s Tuesday and we are heading to the full moon under today’s numerology “five”.

The Five being such an active number, nevertheless the kick of that pushy dynamic and an extra dose of positivism, where has it gone?

Don’t worry too much, this is just temporary… the positivism is still there and ready to bloom with a lovely Venus dance .

I wouldn’t stress out about the slower pace… this can actually be a blessing . Maybe you need to refocus, relax and find some quiet moment to organize the next steps… so this energy can be gloria on earth.

Here my tip:

Take your time, especially when dealing with delicate items or doing precision work. It can be that there is nothing dramatic happening. It could be more like a tiny adjustment.

Review and re-assure that nothing is broken, so, there are no repairs or replacements required.

If everything seems to be in order, so why to worry? There’s no reason for backtracking or recalculating once a job is done.

Practice patience and adhere to the wisdom of the adage: “Measure twice. Cut once.”

There is still more…. talking about relationships, romance, partnership dynamics…You’ll have no trouble asking for what you want in life and most certainly in love when >Mercury slides into direct Aries<. Starting this Wednesday until May 6th, you will find it a lot easier speaking your mind .

Then also a Full Moon in Libra on Friday illuminates partnership dynamics as well as your emotional needs in a relationship. 

… but don’t forget to ask the other person what he or she wants as well. There has to be balance! {:)}

By the way, this Saturday Venus rushes into the fire sign, Aries,… dancing there until May 15th.

What does this mean? You’ll have no trouble making the first move to go after your crush.!

Flirt, dress sexier, and reveal all of those qualities that make you hot.

Someone is bound to notice!

Wishing you all a very productive Tuesday

Thanks for reading me. XO Kikis


Photo credit Kikis de la Creme

Assess and Re-Prioritize

How is your busy week going so far? … as I promised in my last post, there are more wonderful things going on in the Cosmic Column. Are you ready?

Especially, as this is the week of Jupiter ( the planet of expansion) turning retrograde in the fire sign Sagittarius. So you might say … retrograde again? Yeap! But, … before you close this message and walk away… let me anticipate, that this is actually a very positive aspect .

Under today’s numerology “eight” and tomorrow’s “nine” this activates a four-month-tour (until August 11th), in which you will be able to >focus <. on what you’re really passionate about.

It’s the time to assess and re-prioritize. Your agenda might be packed with activities, nevertheless even if you would love to dance-in-all-parties/meetings …. re-define what’s really indispensable and requires your direct attention … and what can be delegated.

Wishing you all a very inspiring Wednesday!

Thanks for reading me.

XO Kikis


Photo credit Kikis de la Creme, Aachen Germany 2019

Daydream Interruption

Uncertainty and balance … two keywords under the current sky and today’s numerological vibration of #two

Earlier this week, I mentioned that this week the Sun/Mercury Retrograde will challenge Jupiter ( planet of expansion … so, there will be very mixed message popping up.

What to do?

Some people hibernate … I would say inhale/exhale .. do some stretching and step back to observe the circumstances. Yes there might be some confusion these days.

Focus on the most positive outcome . Trust is a mayor word under the current panorama . Mercury is still retrograde … so a “past” issue is very probably also on the plate.

It might take a while to sort things out. But this is also your opportunity to reassess plans. In case of an administrative setback this could help to bring light to an important detail.

Keep the lines of communication open. Instead of forcing things to move in a definitive direction, relax and let the situation take its natural course.… or get profesional help… a coach ?!

Wishing you all a very peaceful and productive Thursday!

Thanks for being here .

XO Kikis


Photo credit: Marbella Spain 2019 Kikis de la Creme

A Cosmic Hug

Just caught yourself… doing a whole lot of staring out the window today ?

Well, no wonder as there might be so much going on in your life.

From being pleased with yourself for letting go of a bad habit or ending a toxic relationship. Or maybe you’re happy because you ran into someone who makes you feel good about being you.

It’s the fourth day of Uranus traveling in Taurus and there is this shape-shifting-Mars-Neptune angle bringing some confusing touch ….

Never mind the reason.

My special tip is: Just relax, enjoy this cosmic hug, go for a walk, pamper your mind, body soul with a delicious bath in the evening … and overall, be sure to spread these good feelings around.

Your smile can set the world on fire.

Wishing you all a very joyful and relaxing day.

Happy Sunday! Thanks for reading me.

XO Kikis


Photo credit: Marbella Spain 2019 Kikis de la Creme